So don’t go to the doctor and ask for antibiotics, for they won’t help. If you’re in a country that let you buy antibiotics over the counter, save them for something it might be helpful for.

There are antiviral drugs, but their side effects tend to be higher than those in antibiotics and are usual reserved for very bad infections; if someone is sick enough to be in the hospital, antivirals like Tamiflu will be prescribed, but otherwise healthy adults won’t generally be prescribed antivirals. However, children under the age of two, the elderly and folks with immune disorders are on the CDC’s list of folks that are candidates for antivirals, since they are at higher risk of dying from bad bouts of the flu.

For the rest of us, the old joke about viral infections rings true; if you go to the doctor, you get better in 6-8 days, if you don’t, you get better in about a week. All the doctor can do absent antivirals is to treat symptoms. If you have bad chest congestion that is causing breathing problems, steroid shots or nebulizing inhalers can help. A visit to a doctor isn’t in vain, especially if you have serious enough problems that might require hospitalization, but don’t expect miracle drugs from Dr. Feelgood.

The old-school advice still holds; drink plenty of clear liquids, rest and STAY HOME; you don’t want other people to be feeling as miserable as you do. If you are having a lot of congestion, the mucus will be sucking up liquids, so you have to drink a lot of water to keep from becoming Pierre, the Dehydrated Frenchman. The mucus is helping clear those unwelcome visitors out, so keep the water coming.

Decongestants can help clear out your sinuses and lungs, but avoid antihistamines; they dry up your sinuses, but they also will tend to keep the virus in place. You want your immune system to get those viruses out of there, and mucus is how your system gives them the heave-ho.

Fever- You normally don’t get a fever with a cold, while a 100-degree-plus temperature is common with a flu bug. So, if you get out your trusty thermometer and it doesn’t crack triple-digits, you probably have a cold.

Aches and Pains- The flu is marked by headaches and other bad aches around the body; colds tend not to have as many aches.

Chills-Chills are more of a symptom of the flu.

Phlegm Fatale- A cold will produce a lot of mucus, producing chest congestion and stuffed-up sinuses; cold will produce coughs that will bring up plenty of mucus, while flu coughs are usually drier.

Speed- The flu tends to hit very quickly, within 3-6 hours, while cold symptoms are slower to manifest themselves. You may “think you have a cold” but you’ll know it when you get the flu.

Also, don’t confuse H1N1 with rotaviruses that are commonly called stomach flu or intestinal flu; rotaviruses cause vomiting and diarrhea rather than a dry cough and plenty of aches; if you’re “praying to the porcelain gods Rolf and Earl”, you probably have a rotavirus rather than the flu.

If you do have the flu, there isn’t much the doctor can do. Antibiotics don’t work on either colds or flues, since they are viruses rather than bacteria. You need antivirals to go after the flu, but those have higher side-effects than antibiotics and are generally reserved for very bad cases or people with poor immune systems.

There are a number of things that you can do, many of which are old-school disease treating tools. Drink plenty of liquids, which will give your system the tools needed to flush things out. Get plenty of rest, since your immune system is working overtime and needs to have all hands on deck to get rid of this nasty invader.

Lastly, stay home. Going to work or school runs the risk of giving your coworkers and classmates the same joy you’re going through, so tell your inner tough guy to get lost and stay put.